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My Fellow Farmers...

Sunday, August 21, 2011

30 and "counting"...

I am 30. I am about to turn 31. Age has never really felt like a logical way for me to quantify things. I have never applied the social norms to my life, i.e.: At 24 I will marry my college sweetheart, by 25 I will have a career path, by 26 I have children, and by 30 I will hate everything that I have created.

I have vacationed within my life for what I feel like is just the right amount of time. I did the proverbial journey into "myself" and sorted out who I am on some level or another, what I need in my life and the things that I can discard and tag as clutter. Through all of this self-indulgent "searching", I always had it somewhere in my mind that things were just going to turn out fine...Strike that, turn out AWESOME. I would meet the most killer partner to share my life with. I would find a job that made me lots of money, as well as potentially famous and pretentious. I would live somewhere that felt like the most truthful me. Ok. I'm close.

I have a partner who is amazing. Silly. Gorgeous. Flamboyant. Intelligent. Loves me.

I have a job that is changing the world for the better. Literally.

I live in a place that most people dream of vacationing in: mountains, music, yippies, sun.

Im still itchy. I want to make sure that I am recognized to the fullest extent that I can be. By myself and others. I don't want to miss anything. I want to eat and drink everything, everywhere. I want to live by the ocean. I want to live in the mountains. I want to work out more. I want to eat out more. I wish that I could make tons of money and never work again. I love living simply and having a job that is fulfilling. I want to be cooler. Im pretty fucking cool for 30. I wish that everyone would pay attention to me. I wish I was the kid that could just read a book in the corner. I want my partner to know that I love her more than anything. I want to make more art. I wish I had a 9-5, predictable career job. I should have picked one thing and stuck with it. Im intensely glad I didn't do that. I wish I didn't miscount my blessings so frequently.

But, Im happy. Really Real Happy.


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